… for the second time this summer I’m having to reduce my output on medical grounds.
On Wednesday, July 22, Jackie and I were told that she has lesions on her brain – one of them bleeding – which explains the headaches she’d for some weeks been having, along with chest pains, low energy, lapses in lexical recall and weakness in one arm.
Worse, the brain tumours are secondary, as are those in throat and spine. Suspected primary is in the lungs.
The next day, Thursday, we set off for the WOMAD music festival, determined to enjoy it to the full. And so we did, with tearful but piercingly intimate moments. The festival was amazing and it horrifies me to think we seriously if briefly mooted not going. If anything, the low probability of Jackie ever seeing another heightened rather than took away from the wonderful music and ambience.
I doubt I’ll stop blogging but my priority is to do all in my feeble gift to ensure that such time as she has left is lived with joy. Her courage and down to earth practicality humble me. We’ve had conversations we should have been having years ago. It’s like falling in love all over again.
There’s nothing to say or do. It is what it is. I wanted to explain yet another radio silence is all.
With love,
Phil
PS – should anyone of you find themselves in a similar situation – and statistically that’s highly likely – I recommend this incredibly uplifting book by the late Simon Boas, A beginner’s guide to dying.
Phil,
Your work has inspired many and I know Jackie’s influence has been felt by all. My thoughts are with you and your family.
C
Thank you, C
There aren’t any words adequate on reading this Phil.
I’ve been concerned about your silence lately.
I’m extremely grateful for your writings, which reveal your humanity and insight into the world we live in.
Margaret x
Thank you so much for these words, Margaret x
Thanks, Phil and your words about situations/life/challenges near and far are much appreciated. Call on me when you want/need support.
Will do, Jeni x