The things that you’re liable …

26 Nov

[ezcol_1third]California talk show host Dr. Laura Schlessinger – check her out: she’s what Americans call a piece of work – gives advice to people who call in to her radio show. An observant Orthodox Jew, she has recently cited Leviticus 18:22 in declaring homosexuality an abomination that cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

This open letter to Dr. Laura first appeared in Tickld and was shared by FB pal Louise. It’s from east coast resident and “devoted fan”, Jim. I’d like to buy the man a drink.[/ezcol_1third] [ezcol_2third_end]dr-laura-schlessinger[/ezcol_2third_end]

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord – Leviticus 1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Leviticus 15:19- 24. But how do I tell? I’ve tried asking but most women take offense.

Leviticus 25:44 says I may possess slaves, male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend claims this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

One neighbour insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

Another friend feels that though eating shellfish is an abomination – Leviticus 11:10 – it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

Leviticus  21:20 says I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Leviticus 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Leviticus 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two kinds of thread (cotton/polyester). He also curses and blasphemes a lot. Must we go to the trouble of getting the whole town to stone them – Leviticus 24:10-16? Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Leviticus 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan, Jim.


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