6 Replies to “If you have the oil …

    • Well this has little to do with anything either, George. But Randy Newman wrote a song I loved back in the day. Simon Smith and his Dancing Bear gave Alan Price, formerly of the Animals, a sixties hit.

      He later wrote the bizarre song, Putin. As long as you don’t take it seriously – seldom a good idea with artists on politics – it’s good fun.

      Putin puttin’ his pants on
      One leg at a time
      You mean he’s just like a regular fella, huh?
      He ain’t nothing like a regular fella

      Putin puttin’ his hat on
      Hat size number nine
      “You sayin’ Putin’s gettin’ big headed?”
      Putin’s head’s just fine

      He can drive his giant tractor
      Across the Trans-Siberian plain
      He can power a nuclear reactor
      With the left side of his brain
      And when he takes his shirt off
      He drives the ladies crazy
      When he takes his shirt off
      Makes me wanna be a lady
      It’s the Putin Girls!

      [Putin Girls:]
      Putin if you put it when you
      Put it where you put it
      Putin if you put it
      Will you put it next to me?
      Putin if you put it when you
      Put it where you put it
      Putin if you put it
      Will you put it next to me?

      Now Putin hates the Putin girls
      ‘Cause he hates vulgarity
      And he loves his mother country
      And he loves his family

      He and his ex-wife Lyudmila
      Are riding along the shore
      Of the beautiful new Russian Black Sea
      Let’s listen in
      A great man is speaking

      We fought a war for this?
      I’m almost ashamed
      The Mediterranean
      Now there’s a resort worth fighting for
      If only the Greeks or the Turks
      Would start to sniff around
      I’d bring the hammer down
      So quick their woolly heads would spin
      Woolly head, woolly head, woolly head

      Or, wait a minute
      Even better
      What if the Kurds got in the way?
      Hey! Kurds and way, curds and whey!

      Sometimes a people is greater than their leader
      Germany, Kentucky, France
      Sometimes a leader towers over his country
      One shot at glory, they don’t get a second chance
      I dragged these peasants kicking and screaming
      Into the 21st century
      I thought they’d make it
      I must have been dreaming
      These chicken farmers and file clerks gonna be the death of me

      I can’t do it
      [PG:] Sure, you can
      I can’t do it
      [PG:] Yeah, you can
      What makes you say that girls?
      [PG:] Tell you why. ‘Cause you’re the Putin man
      Who whipped Napoleon?
      [PG:] We did!
      Who won World War II?
      [PG:] The Americans!
      That’s a good one ladies
      It’s our turn to sit in the comfy chair
      [PG:] And you’re the man gonna get us there!

      I don’t know, Lenin couldn’t do it
      I don’t know, Stalin couldn’t do it
      They couldn’t do it
      Why you think I can?
      [PG:] You’re gonna lead our people to the Promised Land
      You’re right, ’cause, Goddamn, I’m the Putin Man

      • I never thought about it but the name “Putin” is just a gift. But hasn’t somebody done something with “Trump”? “Boris” has some interesting rhyming possibilities: “morass”, “or ass”. And then there’s the late Roger Scruton. “Foot on”, “shoot on”. Oh the fun to be had!

        • And while I’m in facetious mood: my favourite ever brazenly awful rhyme – from Jonathan Richman:

          “Roller coaster by the water
          Make me feel just like I ought ta”

    • Great song Jams. Thanks:

      Well the white god said to the little man
      We’re gonna fulfill scripture in the holy land
      Between the tigris and euphrates it’s a lot like hell
      Go on and liberate my people and their o-i-l

      Get your big trucks rollin down hiway 9
      Put on the armor it’s party time
      Gonna dance with the devil of our own design
      Get your big trucks rollin down hiway 9

      So the little man gathered all his chickenhawks in
      And the neo-cons and his daddy’s kin
      They had their own clear channel and a hell of a spin
      And a white man hidden in a black man’s skin

      Big trucks rollin down hiway 9
      Pulverize the puppet it’s payback time
      Whose tax dollar is it yours and mine
      Keeps the big trucks rollin down hiway 9

      Well we got caught sleeping at the sentry post
      Now we’re standing toe to toe with what we feared the most
      That old father and his son and the unheavenly host
      We gotta do what we can don’t give up the ghost

      Get the big trucks rollin down hiway 9
      With food and water and an internet line
      Run to the polls when it comes the time
      ’cause the big truck’s rollin down hiway 9

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