Ten second guide to Owen Paterson

6 Nov

My integrity, which I hold very dear, has been repeatedly and publicly questioned. I am totally innocent of what I have been accused of and I acted at all times in the interests of public health and safety.

Owen Paterson

What, you want more from the lady? She says she doesn’t spend all her time exposing BoJo’s gang of crims because “sometimes I’m sleeping”.


Even these tweets contain clues that this is not about one rotten apple. As many have pointed out, BoJo is up to his neck in it. Moreover, the word used by Standards Commissioner Stone – ‘egregious’ – points to Paterson’s graft being too blatant to be ignored. To do so might draw attention to non egregious, door-revolving-as-usual sleaze. 1

I’m no fan of Marina Hyde. I don’t share her fans’ view of her writing as sublimely witty. To my mind it’s too often look-how-clever-I-am contrived …

… far more importantly, I can’t forgive the screeds of venom she’s poured out on Julian

… but credit where it’s due, her column yesterday – Owen Paterson the fall guy, housing that laboured “pool float Targaryen” – did also offer this gem:

… none of [Paterson’s] friends was Boris Johnson, who last indulged in male friendship some time around the John Major administration … Johnson’s very much the best man who lets you down on the morning of the wedding. “Mate, is it today? Fuck! I’m an idiot. No mate, can’t do it. I’m still in Verbier. Gutted I won’t be able to try to shag her at the reception now. Anyway, have a good one.”


  1. See this from Transparency.org under the header Red Flags in 20% of UK’s PPE Procurement.

2 Replies to “Ten second guide to Owen Paterson

  1. What’s interesting, as well as revealing, about this is the train of thought which argues that because other political parties and politicians within those other parties are just as susceptible to the corruption of values and the democratic process arising from the level of institutional capture by corporate lobbying that ALL politicians and Parties are equally guilty and are ‘all the same.’

    Leaving aside the very obvious comparable matter of scale what this position and approach fails to address is the responsibility of those who make this argument for the situation they decry.

    Firstly, because such corruption of both values and the democratic process is an integral feature rather than a bug of Capitalism. Yet too many who advance the above argument refuse point blank to think this through to its rational and logical conclusion. Prefering instead to believe to the point of dying in a ditch to defend the dishonest corporate media spoon fed comfort blanket which presents only a simplistic dichotomy which says the only other alternative is “communism.”

    Defined, of course, by the propagandists spoonfeeding this nonsense.

    Secondly, as a result of the fact that when presented with an alternative to such corruption of values and the democratic process – of politicians not in the pocket of these corporate robber baron oligarchs leading a political party and shaping its policies around need rather than greed – the majority (if not all) of those knashing their teeth over such corruption reject the opportunity to escape what they claim to be against.

    Once again preferring to regurgitate propaganda fed to them by the same corporate media who invariably support and benefit from that corruption.

    This is why the same corrupt values have taken over the Labour Party and the Lib -Dems. Because to many residents of what is rapidly descending into Numptyland are more than happy to put up with this simplistic’ better dead than red’ Jackanory children’s level narrative.

    As a result the democratic process becomes a sham with the basic criteria of meaningful paradigm choice unavailable. You can have any variant of Cola you want but Water is off lmits.

    The level of cognitive dissonance on display here – what Orwell described as ‘believing two contradictory things at the same time – is off the scale. Wanting it both ways is something most people grow out of with adulthood. The fact this phenomena is so widespread reveals a great deal about the iinfantilism of Western culture. Particularly in the UK and USA.

    Whilst the easy option – at least for those satisfied with doing a bodge job – would be to simply sit back and take the position that those involved will end up with what they deserve it’s not a reasonable and rational response.

    Simply because everyone else ends up being worse off as well. There’s a direct link between the fact that the Labour Party has descended into chaos and outright civil war; why it is pursuing and supporting policies little different in the fundamentals to that of the Conservative Party: why its members data, including their bank account details, have been compromised this week from subbing that data to a third party etc etc and those who whinge about this corruption like a march five year old whilst at the same time rejecting any alternative whilst going the extra mile to support what they claim to be against.

    The fact this is not exactly quantum mechanics is evidence enough of the parasitic and ubiquitous level to which the corporate propaganda model holds sway in the so called and self referenced ‘free world.’.

    It’s everybody else’s fault except the rich and those who doff their caps to them. Even when they don’t know they’re doing it.

    • The fact this is not exactly quantum mechanics is evidence enough of the parasitic and ubiquitous level to which the corporate propaganda model holds sway in the so called and self referenced ‘free world’.

      Ain’t it just, eh?

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